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  Today's Low Quality Ad is for National Geographic Break Open Geodes. Screw lottery tickets, I am buying dozens of these and cracking them open until I find a diamond. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0160JB7IS/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_dl_2PA0ETKXVJY1595BV44S?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=c168d7583b6a5233613e55c8282d7260&gaOptInStatus=true

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  LeBron makes a good point.

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  That explains a lot.

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  This morning's Low Quality Ad is for these Cherry Measuring Spoons. Whenever I use them I say "And now, the cherry on top". It's mildly amusing the first time you hear it and then gets exponentially more irritating. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IRAS876/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_dl_43WE1SYPTYTESZ15PMNB?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=4c8ef42ebb013c927eb8913b782e97ad&gaOptInStatus=true

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  That's a good idea.

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  What a legend.

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  Dogs are too good.

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  Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Fox Costume. For people who aren't furries but are just a little furrycurious. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DGKQ538Y/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_J4GPPRKSVR9R63CW3937?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=ed17e1f580c67fbd3f4c9a5813a23c42&gaOptInStatus=true

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  It simply can't be done.

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  That makes sense.

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  Today's Low Quality Ad is for Black Heroes: A Black History Book for Kids. Get a copy before the government erases Black History from public schools. I'm only half joking. A quarter joking. It will probably be a headline we wake up to in the morning. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641527048/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_YTY5XRX4KTXTZ10P0DMJ?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=2c95b418cb1827fd73cc81d290e3396c&gaOptInStatus=true

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  Incredible.

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  That blows my mind.

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  This morning's Low Quality Ad is for this Fire Pit & Heater. Finally, the combination we've all been asking for. Because if there is one thing fire lacks, it's heat. Obviously. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FDMBP1BM/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_ZCEW5M6CHBPARNC1D5SK?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=f53ebd3b3c4a5a32496980c9af57d5d9&gaOptInStatus=true

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  Please don't forget this.

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  It's about time.

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  We made a comic about the moon.

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  Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Axolotl Night Light. What do you call a baby axolotl? An axolittle. Well it's been fun folks, I'll see myself out. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DT3S44DV/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_NHTAH6YEPDDDPAGB7VWH?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=55f909ea360740714036e7ef88e08a9d&gaOptInStatus=true

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  Please stay calm everyone, all air travel will resume as soon as our engineers finish explaining to the new AI system that planes enjoy being in the sky.

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  Finance Bro: The stock market is incredibly complex, I'd try to explain it to you but I doubt you'd understand heh heh. *new headline about another Jensen Huang affair* Finance Bro: Eh she's not that hot, I'm gonna sell.

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  Today's Low Quality Ad is for these Avocado Hand Warmers. The heat might warm your hands, but the smile will warm your heart. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GWR5MRH3/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_EVTZWY955R9E39CYNR43?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=a9d3d60858fb2920c4ba87310ec28ba0&gaOptInStatus=true

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  Science, bitch.

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  I wonder why.

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  This morning's Low Quality Ad is for the Beardy Dish Brush. I respect this realistic take on gnomes, because if gnomes were real then humanity would immediately force this smaller, weaker species into subservience and make them clean for us. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BYSN9Q8R/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_dl_QPGAA0BKNFZQ5G5EBWFX?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=276037594565efd084fa803d27d4533c&gaOptInStatus=true

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  That blows my mind.

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  Despicable.

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  I feel duped.

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  Someone complained that I've been posting about cats too much lately, so tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this "Easily Distracted by Cats & Side Quests" T-shirt. Keep the complaints coming buddy, there's more where this came from. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DP5ZZCJG/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_dl_81Z7G4E89CEYYT73H7M2?linkCode=ml1&tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&linkId=488c5cc38dc6318ec940e31cdd10ef64&gaOptInStatus=true

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  I love Rami Malek.

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  That's so interesting.